My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize