that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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