barbara walters just said penis...
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
