can we get nightvision for the apartment?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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