): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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