You're so nebulous sometimes
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
You can't special order awesome
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
