yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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