Buhtt sex?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
