And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
