I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
