we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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