How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize