Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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