Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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