Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
