she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
