She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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