There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm like, not good at living.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
