ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
