You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
