PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
