the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
