dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
