Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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