come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Randomize
