On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
