i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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