You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
