I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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