he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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