She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
where are my eyebrows?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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