Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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