the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize