she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Randomize