Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
