Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
It was confusing and full of hummus
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
This is classic penis vs brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize