Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
me + whiskey = a bad person
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
