My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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