I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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