yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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