Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Boobs speak an international language.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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