That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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