Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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