So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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