You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
