Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
