So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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