dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
