I didn't shave. On purpose
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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