Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
