he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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