my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
