They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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