So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
