i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
