wake up i wanna do it froggy style
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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